The origin of this essay comes from the more ironic of places: I was lurking on a random comment thread, from a random post– something I wasn’t even following– that got served to me from Facebook’s algorithm. The post was problematic and presumptuous (as are most things you can find in mindless scroll deep into Facebook…), asking something along the lines of “Why are kids from affluent families fit, while those from lower income families not?”
First off, not true. But, roll with me as I rolled into the comments. Answers varied from the shaming of cheap convenience and fast foods to better accessibility to organized sports. Then, in making the point of that cooking dinner and not just enrolling children in athletics, but taking them to practice and games, one poster shared, “Time is the most undervalued resource.”
The line hit me with that knowing, “ain’t that the truth?” feeling and knocked me out of the problematic thread and into another one entirely.
I am the kind of gal who nearly always underestimates all that can get done in a day. Always trying to cram thirty hours worth of stuff into twenty four. It’s part my nature: I have joked my memoir should be titled, “Pressed For Time.” Part the millennial high achiever track that is very hard to get off of. But, it’s all also very influenced by the mid 2010’s Girl Boss/Lean In era, things like “You have the same amount of hours in the day as Beyonce!” felt personal. Add in my keenly aware sense of time passing that sometimes leads to actual panic attacks and the front row seat to young death (also leads to actual panic attacks…), the ideas that “tomorrow isn’t guaranteed!” and “do the thing now!” (two very girl bossy refrains…) are very real. And are also, in a way, a bit of the foundation for doing this project now versus at forty like I had originally considered before my brother died.
I can poke holes in these ideas, yes. Mary Oliver’s line of “What would you do with your one wild and precious?” can mean so many different things to me, given the day. Sometimes it’s a rallying cry. Other, it’s permission to rest. But, I do know there is value in this thinking. To live life now. To get off Facebook comment threads late at night. To not pretend to be working, but to actually do something. To make what you want to make, do what you want to do, be who you want to be, and not wait for someday.
But, my dad might remind me that this idea isn’t “time” being the resource, but rather it’s “mindfulness.“
Like the Beyonce quote alludes to, time is actually an equalizer.
True… ish.
What isn’t is equal is… well, income for one.
Very few of us “normal” people will ever be at Beyonce level wealth.
However, I am aware that I am in a position of privilege to have some disposable income and I get to choose how I use it. Buying myself time can be possible. You may be in the same position.
When faced with some tasks, I often think in terms of my time as dollars per hour. I sometimes ask, “Can this job be done just as well by someone else and give me time to do the things I need to do while being cost effective?” Things like lawn care and house cleaning have been outsourced in the past for my family because it made sense in looking at dollars spent versus. time earned. I have a friend in real time considering this as she explores a matchmaking service. Money spent would save her time as someone else will filter though romantic matches verses her spending hours in an app.
An older generation might say, “Time is Money!” But I like what Gretchen Rubin calls a “Happiness Solution” in The Happiness Project. It’s a question you can ask yourself: Is it actually wiser to outsource a couple things so you can focus on and get done what really matters to you? If so, Happiness Solution.
It is also wise to think broader on this. Obviously income is not equal and the idea of disposable income to many is just that… an idea.
When I worked for a marketing agency just out of college, Coca-Cola was my client. I was the assistant account executive for marketing programs at college campus in Indiana. (This was a great job, but was also the role that’s funding cut right before I was married.) Luck would have it that Chicago was hosting a a major national meeting for the brand and, along with a few of my regional peers, I was invited. It was a wild experience for 22 year old me to get a peak at the conversations that go on in the driving of sales of a product as omnipresent as Coke. There is so much that I learned in those meetings that I still think about today as we experience marketing in grocery stores, on commercials, at sporting events, and more. One thing that burst my naive little bubble was the stat that something like 80% of households live paycheck to paycheck.
This was in early 2010– the recession was still strong. Based on a quick Google search this number seems to be reported as anywhere from 59-70% in 2023. Still… a lot.
When I moved into my next role with the school system, childhood obesity and the food consumption habits of lower income families was just as pervasive as Coca-Cola. (Coke was even sometimes the villain.)
I was a part of so many conversations on how to mediate the stats and realities. There were so many ideas from government programs like “Let’s Move!,” SNAP, and the National School Lunch reform to classes teaching families how to cook or grow gardens at local community centers. None of which were “bad” ideas, but I can’t help but wonder if the focus was in the wrong place.
Maybe it isn’t that these families need more community gardens.
Maybe it isn’t that they don’t know how to cook.
Maybe they need more time to be able to cook.
Maybe we need better systems that provide families with more time to care for their basic needs like dinner and movement and connection.
There is something in my wildest imagination that believes we could save the word at the table. Sometimes I reprimand myself because that seems so privilege fueled. I know that when I take a step back and see the systems in place, getting together at the table– low income or not– actually requires so much, but especially requires time.
I have done a lot of thinking and work untangling myself from Girl Boss America and even some of these idealized ideas about solving problems like hunger, obesity, loneliness, food systems and more. Maintenance Phase, a hilariously smart podcast debunking diet myths, did a great episode about Michael Pollan’s book “Omnivore’s Dilemma.” The hosts determined there wasn’t inherently anything “wrong” with Michael’s point of eating real, good food and getting connected with farms. But, it’s not true and right for everyone and especially as a proposed solution to obesity. The statement that they used that I now think about and use often is, “That’s an individual proposed solution to a systematic problem.”
On an individual level, Happiness Solutions, being mindful with your time, and getting connected to local farmers are all wise thoughts. You should what you can with what you have to make the most of those same 24 hours as Beyonce. Because life is short and this isn’t a dress rehearsal: it’s your one wild and precious!
But, be so clear reality that while, yes, we all have 24 hours, they are not the same. And, so many times, have to be bought. Time is a privilege.
There are many barriers for people in our systems today and, on the day after September 11th, to me, it’s clear that time is the most undervalued resource. More of it can make a huge difference.
So, do what you can with what you have.
Fight for better systems.
And, hug your people because you never know how much time we’ve got.
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