Patriotic

To totally state the obvious, Tiktok is a weird place.

I enjoy it, don’t get me wrong. This summer I even got into creating just small, short videos of clips or random things from random days that make me smile. It turned out to be a good exercise in searching for and celebrating the little things that delight me throughout very normal days. And, for better or for worse, I do consume quite a bit of Tiktok content as well. Sometime it is the perfect hit of serotonin. Other times it’s a mindless scroll. But, no matter what it is, there is almost always something on that screen that makes me think.

August brought COVID into our home and it was hard, sad and— at times— scary. But, for me, the bright light of “Bama Rush Tok” helped me through. These girls were so earnest and cute and it took me back to those eager, exciting first weeks of college. Truly influenced by it all, I brought not one, but two tennis skirts and spent a bit of quarantined time stringing colorful beads into bracelets for both my daughter… and me. However, it all also made me think about how “rush” really never ends as Cici Xie- a New York City Attorney who I discovered on TikTok— was quoted in this recent Harpers Bizarre piece.

This is how my brain works and why my curiosity in the seemingly innocuous, banal and even superficial is something I am leaning into more. I used to think it was something to be embarrassed by or that because I was interested in say, fashion or reality TV, that it didn’t mean I could be intelligent. But really, while I clearly love things on the surface level (like colorful accessories and trendy, yet very functional– and overpriced— skirts), I almost always want to dive deeper. I am curious to learn what might be below the surface and I want to have conversations about it.

And, so that is what I did in July with my family. 

My mind— that always has to go deeper— was wrestling with the idea of being “patriotic.” 

It was post 4th of July, pre Olympics and my TikTok was serving up clips of young people sharing how only during the Olympic would they chat, “USA! USA!” Couple that with a shared quote card on Facebook saying, “I love America. Bet you won’t post because you are afraid people will think you are racist.” 

Then back to TikTok with contrasting clips of people donning American flag’s on all clothing no matter the day and others boasting that they would never wear red, white and blue even on the 4th of July. 

Combine all this noise this with learning about Juneteeth, the massive division and conversation about vaccines and masks and all that is linked to those opinions, I got curious about patriotism.

As a kid, I loved the 4th of July and I loved the Olympics. My hometown’s 4th of July celebration was a fantastic event and I came of age with the Magnificent Seven. Old Navy flag shirts were a staple and I always cheered for my home team. But, now older and knowing more, I wondered was it silly or even wrong to celebrate “independence” on the 4th of July when it wasn’t for everyone? Did I care if an American kneeled on a podium? What does being “patriotic” look like? Was I patriotic? And if I was, what does that mean or perhaps even say about me?

So, at the table with my family I posed the question, “Are you patriotic?” My dad, brother-in-law and husband have varying interests, many thoughts between them and sometimes different political views all said, “Yes” immediately. 

It lead to an interesting conversation about of all things: Love.

Adam, wise and not one to always just open his mouth, brought an idea that has been discussed at our home before. Reminding me that to love someone— or something— but never be critical of it, isn’t love. It’s dangerous. We both are always learning that a marriage or any relationship be it with a friend, employer, brand or even nation for that matter needs to require some space for feedback, even constructive criticism, and growth.  

Away from the table and back in my mind I thought about America a bit more and came to the conclusion that it’s both. She is a place a love and she is a work in progress, too.

She, like so many wonderful people I know, is learning new things and reflecting always on things she did or believed in the past. She is recognizing that she may have been hurtful or even just wrong and is trying to do better. She knows that “great” isn’t the goal because great is a destination. Great is an ending and she is in this for the long game. Instead, our gal America is ever-curious, ever-growing, diving deeper to discover her multitudes. 

What I have come to find is that curiosity, learning and growth is one of the most attractive things about a person. I want to be around these people. I want to learn from them and love them. I want to be one of them, too. This is why I know that something as silly on the surface as a TikTok video is actually so much more.

So, yes. I am patriotic because I love America. Loving her means I am sometimes critical and certainly holding her accountable, I do love who she is and who she is becoming.

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