The Future Is Bright

In today’s news cycle, it feels like the Inaguration is very old news. But, it was just a few weeks ago. And, it was beautiful.

Can we go back there for a moment?

Okay, great.

So, I wasn’t expecting much given COVID and all the extra security measures needed after January 6th. In mid-January, The Daily reported that Kamala and Joe really wanted to do things outside and as normal as possible. It would be a message of sorts in their eyes. Deep in my anxiety and blasé mood, I thought, “They don’t really have to do that. Just do the thing in a room, safe and sound.”

But, I didn’t realize how good it would be for me– and for a lot of us– for them to carry on with the pomp and circumstance of it all.

In a weird reality of life, I ended up watching from the dentist chair because I obviously wasn’t thinking about the Inauguration back in July when I scheduled my appointment. But, it was actually great. I am not sure I would have sat still and watched it otherwise because… what is sitting still?

The brightness and color of that day totally lifted my mood. I even made a my first TikTok inspired by it.

And, it wasn’t just me.

Everyone seemed lighter, brighter and hopeful. On my newsfeed I saw selfies with champagne, shoutout’s to Michelle Obama and her perfect pantsuit, quote cards with the fantastic words of Amanda Gorman, and lots of Bernie memes. God, those were good, right?!

I also saw many mom’s sharing the moment with their daughters.

Cries of joy, pride and actual, real tears saying things like, “See what you can become!” and “Isn’t it great?! She will only ever know life with a woman in power.”

When I was ten, I (slightly embarrassingly…) put out the dream to be the first female president in a quote in the 5th grade paper. So, I love this.

Even Competitive Me loves this. 1. Because I took myself out of the path to that race a long time ago. And, 2. Because even if I hadn’t, I still wouldn’t be eligible. And, 3. It is past time. That Wednesday in January was a great day for putting on your best shoes and dancing on all the broken glass a la Annie Lennox.

But, you know who I thought of the most that day?

Not my daughter.

But, my son.

After the 2016 Inauguration I was lost and perplexed and I wrote an essay that landed me in one of my most admired publications, Cherry Bombe. Then, it was early, and I didn’t have the words for things like “patriarchy” and “misogny” in my everyday vocabulary; but, I felt it. And, truth be told, I was scared. I was scared because I knew that is what Donald Trump represented and was celebrated for according to some people. They thought these things made him strong. Made him a leader. Made him a “man.”

I had a brand new son and I knew I would do my best teaching him to lead with love and service. I would make it clear that a girl can do anything he can and vice versa, be it sports, spelling bees or laundry. In my writing I used the parallel of cooking because cooking for people and yourself is a life skill, not a gender role.

But, I worried so much about what the world, his peers and our country’s leaders would teach him about being a boy.

I worried that he would grow up in a time that told him to be a leader he had to be like that one.

At the time, the country was screaming “The future is female” because there had to be another way. I even made that part of the title asking, “If the future is female, what does that mean for my young son?” I got flack for that headline whittling it down to, “It’s like when people say ‘all lives matter’ in response to BLM. Of course, all lives matter. But, black people are dying deproptionatly to white.”

I whole heartily get what BLM means. And this comparison is the same frame work as my question. Because yes, while women were (and still are) disproportionally underrepresented in the highest office, there were (and still are) many fantastic role models in great positions of power.

The men in position of power that seemed to be making the news? They were no role model.

In my words, I was trying to also have the conversation about recognizing this. To live as a feminist, but also believing that the world and its women need strong men. My fear was that in the noise of the shouts and examples on TV, boys would only see this cruel way of leadership or silence and I knew there was another way.

Joe Biden is not a hero. He is flawed and human and not everyone’s cup of tea.

But, on Inauguration Day I thought, “See what you can become!”

My son. Do you see it? You can be a leader that puts in time and tries, loses and tries again. A leader that faces tough personal adversity, yet still serves. A leader that is strong and soft at the same time. A leader that listens and welcomes others into the conversation. A leader that taps an individual of great experience– even if someone like them has never done it– and says, “I need your help and I want you to be right beside me.”

No matter what side of the aisle you sit, that is leadership. And, a man– or woman– who believes in service of others, shows resilience, acts with strength and kindness, who listens and asks for help, feedback and builds a team is a fantastic role model.

It was a great day for our daughters… and our sons.

PS- It doesn’t hurt that these boys will also only know a life with a woman in power too.