Influence

The domestic terrorist attack at the capitol last week was frightening, bizarre and so saddening. I have thoughts, opinions and fears about so much that has been brought to light that day and in the days after. I have more thoughts, opinions and fears about the terrible worldview that I unfortunately already knew existed in some groups of people. But, one of the more interesting thoughts I had was how social media played a supporting character in it all.

Social media platforms have become a weird place since March. 

Good, life giving, and important at times.

Other times, it’s been harsh, awkward, polarizing and even mean out there on the old internet.

There has been quarantine tips and gripes. Many arguments about the importance of masks and black lives, of course. But, also the always present posting to follow along with someone’s MLM “journey,” babies born and babies lost, weddings canceled and revisited, weight loss side by sides (good for you, you quarantine overachievers…), at home cooking shows, and all the Live video my Instagram Story bar can handle.

It’s been a lot. It’s all just been— noisy and kind of exhausting.

But, it was on social media where I learned— as my stomach did an actual flipflop— the mob had breeched the capitol and where I spent much of the next few hours trying to learn more. I scrolled and shared and refreshed and read. And, then in the days that followed I learned that this source of information had been a tool.

A tool for the terrorist organizers.

And, a tool for judging the value systems of those with larger platforms. Or, influencers as they are most often called.

Like the message that was clear in June: Silence on the subject is tolerance.

Since March, I have paid special, more critical attention to influencers because it was in March that I began chipping away at a book proposal and having conversations with literary agents. And, basically what I have been told is that if I want to have any chance at getting traditionally published, I need to build a following on social media. A large, engaged following in the literal hundreds of thousands. I need a platform, an audience, a niche, expertise and influence in that space on the internet.

As a mid-millennial, I am an internet native. I have been on social media for years. From AIM to MySpace and Live Journal. To Facebook and Instagram. I even was an early-ish user (not creator) of TikTok. So I have seen the rise of the “influencer.” I have been a “blogger” since 2013 and I have been in workshops, conversations and coaching’s on “building a platform.” 

I know how to do it, in theory. I just… don’t do it.

It’s all very self indulgent and it makes me nervous and even feel a little icky. It never felt genuine to practice some of the gimmicks like “Quick Poll! Vanilla or Chocolate Ice Cream?” or “Double tap if you are ready for Happy Hour too!” to get engagement. I don’t like the idea of listing upwards of 30 hashtags at the end of a caption, but I get why they are used. (In fact, I use them as a search tool often.) I don’t want to give a play-by-play of my day. For one, it’s not exciting and that takes me out of the moment. But, more importantly, it’s not safe. I don’t want to post on vacation leaving evidence that we are not home or that you can find me at the gym at 5AM or this particular coffee shop every Friday. (In pre covid days… ah, coffee shop Fridays. I miss you. 5AM gym session… not so much.)

Much of the idea behind growing a platform is to create sharable content. So a strategy is to talk and post about a brand in hopes that they share it on their platform. I don’t shop often so “try on hauls” or even tagging brands isn’t a great avenue for me. Much of the food we eat is from our own farm and I have not decorated the house in over seven years. (Although, that is changing. I have the seven year itch bad.) Even tagging books is tricky because so much of what I read is digital and from the library. That doesn’t make for the most Instagram-worthy photo. 

Oh, and then there is the whole photography thing. I do not do that right. (Neither does Adam. I stopped asking long ago.) I never could quite do food photography well because 1. Talent, skill, practice, etc. And, 2. It just seemed so wasteful. And, when it comes to sharing a good old fashioned selfie, I am more a “6” than a “10” so my mug all over my feed seems ridiculous.

But, the trickiest piece of all of this for me is the whole idea of finding a niche and establishing expertise there, especially as it relates to the book I am working on. It is about the transition to motherhood and how my experience was “clunky” to say it in just one word. On the surface, it looks like a book about birth and maybe even the health complications that can follow birth.

So I could share quote cards about rates of preeclampsia, its symptoms and feelings a new mom might have if they are fighting PPA/PPD. I could engage in that space and become a thought leader.

But, I don’t want to.

I want to share my story, but I don’t want to live in the space of new babyhood for a career. I want o raise awareness and encourage women to listen to their bodies and be their own advocate. I will look to candidates supporting families of all kinds and stronger maternity and paternity leave. I want to have real, deep conversations about our experiences, heartache, growth and hopes; but, I want these conversations to go beyond motherhood and postpartum. These are the kind of conversations I want to live in.

But, what about the gal who I follow because I like her style? Or the account I follow because of her cute dog? Or, the woman sharing iPad tips? What about the many food and garden platforms in my feed? These gals have niched down and I follow them for that niche. Do I want them to say something about the major event last week? Do I need them to also be a source of information on politics and current events?

Many people seemed to demand yes. I saw influencers called out for being quiet, going on as business as usual, saying they were upset about everything, but taking time to think offline and especially for expressing the desire for unity because, oh man, was that the cop-out of the century.

Even this was met by the masses as not enough and worthy of a rallying cry for the rest to unfollow.

Listen, I don’t put too much stock into follows. And, as a gal who follows and unfollows on the regular to protect my head, heart and newsfeed clutter: Do whatever you want. But, to basically say, “How dare you entertain me and then not also say the exact right thing at the exact right moment” seemed unfair.

In in the spirit of full disclosure, I had to look up the definition of “insurrection” and double check the pronunciation “coup” last week. My last government class was fifteen years ago and I grew up and into adulthood with the rhetoric of “you don’t talk about money or politics.” (I even wrote about it here just two years ago.)

A lot has happened in the world and me in the last two years. These words and situations are things I fortunately have not needed to know and January 6th was the first time I witnessed either. Had I been the influencer agents tell me I need to become, it would have felt hard to know what to say because there is this huge pressure to say it right and first. Bonus points if it’s sharable.

However.

Just because knowing the right terminology and understanding immediately what was really happening was hard, there are things that were easy to see and say that day. 

Some of it is thanks to my learning in the last few years; but, also just knowledge from Day One of being a human on this earth full of other humans. It is easy for me to call the insurrection of the Capital dangerous, wrong, hypocritical and so sad. It is so simple to say that the people brandishing symbols of hate in that space— and let’s be clear, anywhere— is pure evil. And, that the president’s words after the facts were so upsetting (yet, not surprising) and his complete lack of claiming any responsibility is not what a leader does. (Again, not surprising.)

To ask for unity and peace? Nope.

Nope. Call that what that is. Evil. Wrong. Intolerable. I am as glass half full as any Enneagram 7 could get, but to reach for peace and unity with people who actually wish subgroups of humans dead? Plain and simple. No.

I don’t even want to have a conversation on it.

Which is weird for me.

But, to not give someone time to think and even just understand what they were seeing, hearing and learning in real time, perhaps for the first time, seems to be asking the impossible. No one can be expected to know things they have not been taught. No one should be expected to have all the answers or even just something wise to say about something they have never experienced.

I think there are parts of this that are crystal clear. But, there are others that are murky just because it’s new, but not new. Scary and weird and, at times, grey. Those are the conversations I want to live in.

When I do my best thoughts on what Bloom is as a “niche” or “brand” is that it is a state of becoming or a way of being. You are not the bud, but not the full blown flower either. You are learning, growing, and trying. You ask questions, you listen and are curious. Staying put or getting “there” is not the goal. You are in the messy middle where the work is done and conversation is had and growth is happening. 

And it is not a bad place to be. 

I think we need to give people the opportunity to bloom and, perhaps, even at times demand it. Especially of ourselves.

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Join Claire on the podcast today as she shares her thoughts on this quote and how there is a connection to influencers as they are in the business of human interests. As well as a challenge to take on some of the energy we all found in the early part of the 2010s as Pinterest made it’s mark and bring it into today. Learning new things, reading new blogs, creating and trying, and finding new people to follow.