The best way to describe Savannah right now is “destructive.”
For Christmas, she received an adorable kitchen. I envisioned sweet, independent play as she used her imagination to create recipes that she would ask me to “try.” Instead, she has more fun dumping the (many, many pieces of) food and the utensils all over the floor.
She will go to reach for one book off the shelf and it quickly becomes a disaster as fourteen books come tumbling to the floor.
She wants so badly to run. And, she tries. But, she doesn’t quite have it down. She tends to trip over her feet and collide into things. She also is her mother’s daughter and is often carrying more than she can handle. So, on some of these attempts at running, she also has a complete yard sale, scattering the three stuffed animals, a sippy cup, the remote control, my car keys and and a single shoe across the floor.
If Theo is working on a puzzle, coloring, or building something with blocks, his constant refrain is, “Make Savannah go away.”
We laugh, but also know that his project doesn’t stand a chance with her around.
It’s likely a little bit of her personality shining through.
She has been curious, a little feisty and very determined since Day One… and I love this about her.
But, I also know that it’s just her age.
Theo did this too. I would try so hard to get him to play with this cute wooden set of blocks my sister found in New York, but he would just laugh and laugh while smacking the few that I could get stacked up before he would smack them down again.
But, at nearly three years old and as our little, wise man (… something I love about him), he has reached a certain level of maturity where he now wants to build.
We watch him get frustrated and even defeated as Savannah threatens what he is building. Throwing himself on the ground in a tantrum, letting her ravage his project.
But, more so lately, he boldly and strongly just says, “No!” and stands his ground, protecting his work.
What are you building that others are trying to knock down?
The new car smell of the New Year is fading and all the “can do” spirit may be harder to find today than it was a few weeks ago.
Motivation dies. Life happens. You may even start to feel pressure to give in from people around you.
Here are just a few of the things I have heard in the last three months:
“Oh, I tried Weight Watchers years ago. It doesn’t work. It’s a waste of money.”
“Don’t go on a run. It’s too cold.”
“You are thirty one. You can’t write a memoir yet.”
“I can’t believe you let Theo watch You Tube/choose to wear his coat/eat an ice cube.”
“You should really lower your prices. No one is going to buy that.”
And, you guys. These are things I have been told TO MY FACE.
Here’s what I have come to learn… Sometimes there isn’t an intent to be mean; but still, you are probably not going to be told these things by some who has done what you are trying to do or built what you are building. They have not lost the weight. They have not reached a point where they are debt free. They are not raising your child. They have not started or leveled up a business.
In fact, they may have never even tried. These criticisms and critiques could be from people who are too scared to try. They won’t even start because they are afraid it might be hard or because there are things they don’t know.
You know this feeling, but you overcame it. You added a block and got past this step.
Or, maybe the people telling you these things tried and then they stopped. They may feel frustrated or uncomfortable by you continuing to reach because it may make them look bad and they want you to stay on their level instead of adding another block.
Or, maybe you are making them defeated or even jealous. They don’t want you to add another block because they will have to see you do what they wish they could have done.
Turns out, adults are not much different than toddlers: It still takes a certain level of maturity to build something. And, those who just try to knock it down, just don’t have it.
The challenge for us reaching, trying and building is to not give up and let them knock us down or off track. To not whine about it. To not beg for help or for them to just leave us alone. Instead, to have the conviction to say “No.” To protect our work. To add a block and then another. To keep building.
This is hard.
But, what helps me is remembering that anyone- even bitty babies on the brink of toddlerhood- can break things. Tear them down.
But, not everyone can- or will- build something. You have to grow into that person… and you have.
You have already done the hardest part. You recognized you had the desire and fought the fear… and you started. You added a block.
Add another.
Keep building.
Tune into today’s podcast for a conversation about some of the other things I have heard in the last month by putting myself in places where the people around me are building too and how to find places like this.
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