The Thirsty Years

Over Thanksgiving,  my mom told me that she liked the relaunch of Bloom and that she shared some of the recent posts with her friends.  But, then she inquired, “What are you trying to do with it?”

I rattled off a few of my goals.

I want to share honest stories so women- mom’s in particular- don’t feel alone and can feel like they can be more honest with each other.

I want to fill the void between Pinterest Mom and Hot Mess Mom; #girlboss Mom and Kid-Obsessed Mom; Fit Moms and mom’s who don’t take the time- any time- for themselves.

I want to make a place for mom’s who try their best everyday.  Whatever that looks like for you is perfect for you and your kids.  Somedays it might look like cover-worthy cupcakes for the Valentine’s party that you have to Instagram because… Hello!  Look at what you made…!  And, other days it looks like your kid sleeping on their bedroom floor because… that is what sleep training looks like sometimes. 

I want to encourage mom’s to ask more questions about themselves and their identity because I, too, have found myself asking, “I love these kids… But, who am I in this mom role?”

My mom thought for a second.  Then she shared that one of her friends mom’s used to call your thirties the “Thirsty Years.”

We got interrupted- likely by one of my children- so she didn’t get to explain to much behind this theory.  But, I understood the “thirsty” analogy right away.

And, then the idea stuck with me.

Particularly because my mom heard this when she was in her thirties- thirty years ago- from a woman who had been in her thirties thirty years prior.  Meaning this “thirsty” feeling isn’t new.  It isn’t because of Pinterest or social media or Chrissy Teigen or Joanna Gaines.

So, after I couldn’t get it off my mind, here’s my take:

The Thirsty Years: A longing for something.  Wanting something, but unable to get it.  Unsure of what it is that you need.  What you want.

Women in their thirties have felt this way for decades.

In the first week of the relaunch, a friend reached out.  She shared that she is sad and overwhelmed in her role as a working mom.  She was brave with me and told me she hasn’t thought about her own desires in a really long time.  She said after listening to the podcasts, she tried to think of a few personal goals and to think about things that really excite her, but she couldn’t.

She knew this was bad and it made her even more sad… but, she can’t imagine having goals, ambitions and passions because she is already stretched too thin as it is.

I felt for her because I know what it’s like to be so tired too.

It’s hard to dream and set goals when ear infections happen and wrestling toddlers into carseats takes as much energy as a HIIT class.

When you are so depleted in every sense- physically, emotionally and mentally- that doing something for you can seem like a chore.

I have been there.  I still find myself there once or twice a week.

It is a struggle to dream when all you can think about is all it would take from you and your family to pursue.

And, then to feel guilt for taking that time when work is what pays you and your kids are so dependent on you for everything.

But, I also can’t help but wonder… what if the interruptions from a sick kid and the get-out-the-door routines are so hard because of this thirst we have?

A thirst for more.  Is this thirst a passion or dream on our head and heart that we are constantly suppressing?

Could our frustration really just be pent up passion?  Could operating with this thirst be what is making us so tired?  So overwhelmed and brittle?

Maybe you don’t follow that passion because you are afraid of all it would take to accomplish.  Maybe you don’t do it because you don’t even know what “it” is.

Here is what I do know about dreams and passions: They are not an all or nothing thing.

Coincidentally and fortunately, I am learning, neither is motherhood.

And, there are places for this self exploration when the kids are right in front of you.

Want to be more creative?  Watercolor alongside your toddler.  Practice calligraphy with Crayola Markers while they color.

Want to get fit?  Do steps ups at the park.  Lunges while doing laundry… really.

Want to write a book?  While nursing, write down your thoughts in notes on your phone or start a mircoblog on Instagram- I know you are already on there.

Want to learn to cook? Code? Sew?  While at the library, pick up books for you too.

One baby step can fit into your life today and make way for something bigger years down the road.

For a little perspective here…  Want to know what my business started as? Trying to grow some tomatoes and lettuce and the desire to taste an actual farm fresh egg… in 2013.(More on this on the podcast featuring this post.)

It doesn’t have to be a business this instant.

And, even if it never becomes a way to make money, I still can’t help but believe that you- and the kids- will be better off.

And, isn’t that the goal?  At least one of them?  To raise kids who are kind to others and also to themselves.

We are raising the next generation, yes.  But still, how we show up, think and believe in ourselves is an important contribution to this.  This identity is transferred to our kids.

Reach for more.  Think better of yourself.  Do things for fun.  For you and only you.  Because kids need to learn do this too.

Not even sure what you want?  Not sure what your passions are?

Think about what you love.

Still too hard?  Think about what you loved as a kid.

And, then take one step.

Take one sip.

Then, take another one.  And, another one.

Quench your thirst.