What DO I Love?

There’s something weird that happens when you surround yourself with your passion… You can get a little jaded.

There is no doubt in my mind that one of the great loves of my life is indeed food.

I studied hospitality and work in the food industry. I have this sweet little food blog and a growing organic farm. I cook often and rarely repeat a recipe. I maintain a huge backyard garden for the main purpose of providing my family with food. I get food magazines, read cookbooks, listen to food podcasts, watch cooking shows and documentaries.  I follow social media platforms showing me what chefs, restauranteurs, bloggers and food writers are up to every moment of every day.

But, I think I am so infiltrated in food culture that in recent months it all started to get a little stale.

I found myself rolling my eyes when I even just heard the word “foodie.” It’s just so overdone; It started to feel meaningless.  Everyone with a bowl of pho and an Instagram account is a #foodie.  Right?

As I read articles about 2017 food trends and things like “heirloom tomatoes,” “craft beer,” and “charcuterie” topped the list and I couldn’t help but think, “Okay.  That’s nice, but those are not really a new things…”  Right?

I also found myself holding back, even though my job as a blogger, on the farm and professionally is to make people excited about food.  

I didn’t try to ooze “food” because there was somewhere deep in my subconscious that felt like this really doesn’t make me special. Everyone likes food.  Right?

Well.  

Then, in late December, I found myself in a professional situation and a potential client told me- to my face- that they did not feel like I was as passionate about food as my competition.

… What?!

My cheeks burned.  I was a little confused.  Hurt too.

I love food.  I have so much of my life invested in food.  How did this not come across?  Part of me wanted to scream my love of food down their throats.  I wanted tell them that they had it all wrong.  They were crazy. But, part of me couldn’t help but wonder: Had I really become that cynical?  

Indifferent?

… Bored? 

I had to do some soul searching.  

During this time, a good friend of mine reached out to me for support in starting a food blog.

I chose to take the high road and not to let my jaded mind get the best of me.  I fed off of her excitement as we brainstormed titles and themes. She sent me a list of ideas for blog names that she created.  Quite a few of them left me wanting to read and know more. A great start for her.  

And, great jump start for my little black heart.

I couldn’t help but think of the similar lists I made in 2012 as I brainstormed my ideas for what would become Bloom.  Then, I was challenged in a job in all the wrong ways; but, I had this drive and creativity for something more.  At 24-25, I found myself writing ideas down all the time.

I dug out the folder in my office that I have saved from that season of my life. Random pages of notebook paper, post it notes, and sheets from four different food vendors (a sure signpost of my job at the time) poured out.

Finally, after one moment of crazy inspiration, at the mall no less, where I seriously had to have looked like a crazy person clambering to find something to write on, I bought a notebook.  (Seriously. It’s a little hazy, but I think I might of plowed through a group of middle schooler’s trying to flirt as a hauled myself towards a bookstore fearful the thought would leave my mind before I could get it on paper.)

I flipped through that notebook- that I wrote in before it was purchased- as well.

(Fun Fact: Because of that moment, to this day, I always carry a little notebook with me. You never know where inspiration will strike!)

My scribbles in different colored pens of ideas, doodles, brainstorms and reflections from such an inspired time of my life stared back at me.

I paged through my thoughts and smiled.

I didn’t know what this blog would become. I barely knew if Adam and I would be any good at gardening on a large scale. I had never canned or owned a chicken. I even teetered on the idea of it being a young person career blog.

But, then I found a page that made me stop.  At the top it read: “WHAT DO I LOVE?”  On the three pages that followed were all all sort of topics that bring me joy. 

But listed first?

FOOD.

There it was.  Number 1.  Above family, friends, my home, art, stories, learning, leading.  Above Adam.  (Sorry, Trost! I promise I love you much more than food. You are the the great love story of my life.)

But, like great loves, there are up’s and down’s.  Times of extreme passion and times that test you.   

So, I am going to take the first part of this year to reconnect with this great love of mine.  

Instead of being a constant recipe machine, I will be dissecting the “why” behind my passion for food each week explaining why and how they are so special to me.  These posts will range from thought provoking to silly.  Short and sweet to, knowing me, too wordy and long.  Deep to totally obvious and on the surface.  (Spoiler alert: the first one will be just that.)

But, my goal is to completely reignite my passion.  While this may seem a little self indulgent, another main purpose of all of this is to pass it on.

Because just like food, love is better shared.