He blinks with a smidge of confusion and I explain.
The advice came from my mom, but it was not packaged as “advice,” just as her wisdom rarely is.
Then, I was complaining. I was just married and had moved to Adam’s small hometown and it was not an easy adjustment. The funding for my job was cut three weeks before our wedding and I was suddenly jobless. Rejections for new jobs were coming in by the day. I was down and lost. And, I was bored. My friends were all now long drives away and Adam was busy with his business.
I was sleeping in later and later… because I could. I lived in work out clothes all day… because I could. I watched a whole lot of 2011 Bravo, E! and MTV reality shows… because I could. Some days I wouldn’t even say a word out loud until Adam returned from work in the evening.
Mid complaint and an underwhelming update on my life in nowhere’s-ville, my mom said, “Find the library and the farmers market.”
I probably rolled my eyes. But, with nothing better on my agenda, I did.
Immediately, my summer— my life— opened up. I read for fun for the first time in a really long time. I read to learn new things for the first time since college. I tried sewing and ballet thanks to books. I read about entrepreneurship and started to dream of owning my own business. And, because of the trips to the farmers market and the dawn of Pinterest, I picked up lots of cookbooks and I cooked… a lot.
Six months later and I would finally land a job; but, even employed, the farmers market and library were still a major part of my life. Because of both, curiosity about Farm to School and getting kids involved in cooking fueled my enjoyment for said job and just the life I was living. Library audio books (on CDs!) filled my car to make my commute more bearable.
It was books and wanting to emulate the farmers I met, that lead me to and gave me the knowledge for our first backyard garden.
A backyard garden that would become a blog.
That would become an actual farm business at our local farmers market.
That would become opportunities to write and speak on other platforms.
Finding the Farmers Market and Library helped me find parts of me. I was a gal who, before I even noticed it, had nothing but work defining me and when that was gone, I was lost. Through the library and farmers market, I was introduced to who I really am and who I would become and to the life I want to live: Curious and creative.
And, equally special and important: Connected.
Both the library and the farmers market introduced me to my community. We made friends the farmers market in our fellow vendors and our customers. And our local library has become a part of our every day. A stack of books for both the kids and me is replaced every other week. The library is also a place to play thanks to the programming and fun amenities like computers and hands-on toys.
And, the library was one of my many phone calls the morning after my brother died. I worried so much about my kids— now exposed to life’s cruel reality of death. They were so sad and completely understood what had happened— surprising me a bit. And yet, they still had so many questions. I asked the librarians for help in finding appropriate books for them on death. Within 24 hours, ten children books were on hold for me at our local branch and a kind, handwritten note of love and condolences was included for me.
The young man besides me smiles as he nods his head. “The farmers market and the library,” he repeats, “I am going to check both out.”
I smile, too, as I consider how my response had come so easily. Especially as I don’t love giving advice. It’s so…
Specific?
Often misguided? (Or, unsolicited.)
Preachy?
But, even if his path wasn’t food or a garden as a career and business venture, it really was good advice for someone in their mid twenties as I was when I received it and I assumed this young man might be, too. It’s good advice for any one trying to make a place “home.” Even if that place is just themselves.
For weeks, my brother’s death had a way of making me feel like I knew absolutely nothing. But, with this young man, I knew this to be good and true and even helpful.
In my early career, I spent more time than I care to admit reminding myself that I did know a lot more than I gave myself credit. Worry and even speculation would creep into a client or manager’s voice and I would start to get thrown only to play things like, “You have been right before, you will be right again” and “You are the expert. You know this” over and over in my head.
I didn’t need my brother to die to teach me something. I already knew a lot and even with all the “Why’s?,” the slippery ground, and actual “WTF’s?,” I still did. This was a great reminder.
For a while— even before Dan died— I have been dreaming of a book of all the meals that have made an impact on my life. I thought it could be a neat collection of essays and, in my mind, I was playing with idea of doing it around my 40th birthday. The idea of digging up 40 food stories from my life to make it cute: 40 for my 40th.
But, in light of the past eighteen months and tropes like, “Life is short” and “Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed,” screw 40. I am doing it now. But, thanks to this day in the coffee shop where the conversation was a little too true and little magic— two things I love— it will be a little different.
(For one, it won’t be 40 food stories.)
On Tuesday’s I will share a lesson I have learned over my 35 years. Something I know to be good, true, and helpful. And, then on Friday’s I plan to share a food story from my life and it’s impact with a recipe.
The thing I know? The Library.
The food story? The Farmers Market.
Because of the nature of life and how I know myself as a writer, I am not going to be too precious in editing. There is a chance that this will read more like a journal and definitely like a first draft. And, I am not going to get too bogged down in creating a new website, instead keeping them here on Bloom as a series as well as on Substack— a platform that I am learning is great for writers and that I know is great for readers. I am often there consuming content from my favorites. If all goes according to my loose plan for this project will wrap up at the end of the year.
So, welcome to The Farmers Market and The Library.
Your Mother is so wise and so are you! ❤️