I studied Hospitality Management in college.
It sounds a little strange.
To “study” hospitality.
Weird, right? But, don’t worry, I had 8 semesters, a summer abroad and two others in internships exploring the subject. And, I had it down. I was even on Dean’s List.
Tangibles like accounting, menu development, culinary skills and even a decent amount of Spanish. Check.
Skills like management of people, kitchens and events, ethics and customer service too.
Today, I am cool and quick to delegate or find a quick save in kitchen chaos… even that one Thanksgiving when the turkey finished two hours early.
An aside: Don’t use the second oven- the one normally used only to store excess kitchen equipment- on the big day. It will -surprise!- run warmer than the top one and throw you off. And, your sweating husband, who doesn’t have your training, will be delegated to the garage to drink a beer and breathe.
I giggled every time I said “My pleasure” until it became a habit to use in place of “You’re welcome” and my way too breezy, “no worries!” go-to at eighteen.
Friends and even coworkers mock how formal, yet friendly, my phone greeting is thanks to training to smile as I talk… even when someone can’t see my face. Good Afternoon, this is Claire!
My ability to get it taken care of, my “my pleasures” to do it, and the smiles came easily after a decade.
They came despite bad days.
They came on the days when I needed to be taken care of.
They came even when, on the inside, I was panicking and didn’t have a clue how it was going to get done.
Despite the wild requests impacting my personal life and chances for reprimanding.
Despite being yelled at.
They have pushed through the easily recognizable lump of tears forming in my throat.
I would handle it.
It would be my pleasure.
I would do it happily and with a smile.
Here is what they didn’t teach me as I studied Hospitality: This isn’t actually hospitality.
It’s manufactured through training, experience and a little fear. It’s based on impressing people and “Yelp” reviews. There isn’t realness or even truth telling here. It’s fake hospitality.
It’s… acting.
And, like the actor with their training and the comedian with their skills and a musician with their experience, this is entertaining.
Don’t get me wrong. I so value my education and I believe in wonderful act serving others.
And, I love entertaining and being entertained!
I have been to glitzy weddings that took my breath away and parties that transport guests to other places entirely. I have “ohh’ed” over a beautifully presented plate and so appreciate great effort given to create magic and memories.
I have crafted decor and hid the clutter for events as precious my kids birthday parties to more formal dinner parties.
And, those who know me just a little would know that I never turn down an umbrella drink and warm towel from a clean shaven, well dressed concierge.
But, I now see there is a difference and know better than to get them confused. I feel there is a time and a place for each and, hear me out here: Not one is better than the other.
But, for every Pinterest worth toddler party you throw, invite the same guests over for a play date. Make boring coffee out of the Kuerig and let your guests see that your living room, on a normal Tuesday, looks just like theirs. Don’t spend the time apologizing. Sit, talk and be together.
Make sure that your table, well laid out complete with a gourmet meal and seating cards ensuring the most lively conversation, is the same table where the same guest can come with your physical, weeknight clutter and their emotional clutter, and eat leftover soup.
Recognize that small talk, good music and champagne while dressed in a a dress that makes you look and feel glamorous with your partner or friends is so fun. But, so is a night in sweats and fuzzy socks, with tea or red wine, sharing dreams, pursuits, and thoughts. Listening and asking questions. Allowing for others to do the same.
To be real.
There is magic and memories in both.
This post was created in sponsorship with Basic Invite, but as always the thoughts and heart is mine.
Basic Invite is an invitation design website and is a new favorite of mine thanks to their truly custom designs with the nearly 200 color options… even foils in rose gold, silver and more!
These simple, yet beautiful and fun designs are totally my style. I cannot wait to order some to show a little hospitality… and entertain this summer! I loved checking out their graduation collection as I recalled my own course of study for the creation of this blog post.
Have a grad or a party coming up? Set the tone for a great night of entertainment and hospitality and check them out.
PS- They are offering 15% off right now with the code: 15FF51
Hospitality is a habit of the heart, a way of being, an openness and interest in others and their comfort. You did not need to be trained in any of that. You’ve had those characteristics since the day I first held you.
Now I have a “lump of tears” in my throat.