Why What I am Cooking Still Matters

I have been blogging at Bloom for six years this spring.  SIX. Years.

And, today the blog doesn’t look much like it did in the early days or even just two years ago.  For a long time it was a food blog.  I wrote about gardening, cooking, restaurants and local farmers.  There were always stories from my life, but almost every post also included a recipe.

Last week I wrote that I want to cook great meals, but not out of desperation and hustle.

This is how food blogging got for me.  

It was never that I was over food- I love cooking and trying new things.  But, I am not a great recipe reader.  I freak Adam out and often go rouge only using recipes as inspiration.  So, in turn, as a recipe creator?  I knew I was hit or miss. And, ugh. Typing recipes drives me crazy. Food photography and styling was and is something I appreciate, but I didn’t love doing it.  It’s tedious and I don’t have a great eye for styling.

So, food blogging became a hustle.  Something I began to do out of desperation to just “get it up!”

The one thing I did love was telling stories and so many of mine revolve around food, the kitchen and the table.  My greatest moments and most sad moments are all punctuated by what we ate.  Normal meals have become memories because of what, where, with whom and how we cooked.

Many people- women in particular- were raised and shaped by our mothers as well as society to believe that cooking is oppressive.  We should be out in the world, not in the kitchen, chasing careers.

But last summer, when I felt oppressed by my role as caretaker, career woman, and entrepreneur, all I wanted to do is shed the coffee and to do list.  Drop my phone and and ditch the blazer… and cook.

I craved the physicality of it.  I wanted to page through my cookbooks, not just dig up another crockpot recipe on Pinterest. I wanted to use my favorite knife, a gift from a few Christmases ago. Far nicer- and better- than we knew to register for prior to our wedding.  I wanted to chop vegetables on my wooden cutting boards.  I wanted to actually smell what I was preparing and actually taste it when I was eating.

The shift in my life happened as the seasons changed from summer to fall.  And, it was so fitting.  Manic summer slipping into the slower and the, sometimes, more gloomy days of fall.  Perfect for chopping garlic and letting in melt with butter and crushed red pepper in a large pot, perfuming the kitchen.  For roasting root vegetables and chicken.  For standing at the stove for an hour with a large pan a risotto and a glass of wine.

In the last few months, I have been on a big curry kick.  Soup too, but in the winter, who isn’t?

I don’t find it ironic in the least that the recipes I have been drawn to are slower.  More hands-on and thoughtful in their preparation.  Transformative, from basics to the creation of something magic.  It was what I was craving everywhere in my life.  

Know that I am not a chef and didn’t go to culinary school, but I do have some skill thanks to my selected course of study in Hospitality Management. Enough to make me feel confident in the kitchen and also know how to scale meals for a crowd. Showers and parties at our house are common.

Or… At least they were.

I tried to think of parties we had hosted in the last year.  Outside of kids’ birthday parties and a few “you bring this and I will make that” nights, there wasn’t one.  And, for one of those kids’ birthdays we ordered pizza… so, I am not sure that really even counts.  

I thought some more and determined that the last big party was my 30th Birthday.

It was a great evening.  

Summer produce from the garden was at its peak and a large beef tenderloin coated in herbs and garlic was prepared by Adam.  Rose and champagne flowed- even into a glass for me at 30 weeks pregnant. And, the centerpiece of the night was a colorful cake topped with sparkling candles from my friends in town from Indy and Chicago.  That night, new friends and old ones filled our kitchen and hung out on the patio.  We ate at our dining room table while toddlers in pajamas went from lap to lap looking for another bite of ice cream.  

Today, as isolated, shut in winter begins to give way to spring, I have a call to cook again.  Just like I did in the fall; but this time, for other people.  I want to have a dinner party.

I want champagne with appetizers and a big cheese board.  A great meal and better conversation with friends at my table.  I want a decadent dessert that is casual enough to eat on a pillow in the living room where we linger into the evening.  All the while, kids in PJ’s stay up past their bedtimes watching movies in our playroom.  I want to use the cloth napkins and candles I am saving for a special occasion.  The placemats and glassware I have tucked away because of fear of a kid ruining them. 

I want to get out of the habit of text messages and send invitations.  Beautiful invitations like these from Paperless Post, where the designs from Kate Spade, Anthropologie or Rifel Paper Company will set the tone for the night and make our guests feel welcome and excited.

Look through their collections and embrace the call to open your doors.  Send out the invite and bust out the recipes, cookware and candles you too are “saving” for something special.  

Because it already is.

Life and friendship and meals are too special not to celebrate.  It matters.  

I knew it all along, but needed a reminder.  So much has happened in the last six month, some of it great and some very bad, but through it all was the lesson I needed to relearn: Making time for this- for open homes and hearts, for nourishment and connection-  This is what matters.  

There is so much in life today that can feel oppressive, but I truly believe you won’t- you cannot- find it here.

This connection to the physicality of preparing a meal and the deeper connection to people at your table?  Even if the floors are dirty.  Even if it’s just soup on the menu.  Bring people in.  Make them feel invited and welcome.  You will find it feeds you too.

It matters.  

 

This post was sponsored by Paperless Post, but the heart and thoughts are, as always, my own.  Do check out their wonderful collection of invitation designs to help you celebrate.  I am, of course, drawn to their invites; but, their business flyers also spoke to me and will be in use this summer with some projects for the farm.  Below are a few of my favorite invites for spring.