2019: The Year of…

In recent years, I have hopped on the trend of choosing a word, in place of a resolution, for the new year.

There are always goals for the year.  Come on, it’s me.

But, I have liked this idea of having a word to set a tone or theme to the coming year.  It’s a fun exercise to think about what word I would like to use.  A word to think about when I am presented opportunities, challenges or at a crossroads.

What word do I want to help steer my course?  If I could have one thing that year, what would it be in one word?

In my past few years my words have been things like: Growth, Abundant, and 2018’s word… Big.

Seriously.  Big.

As in “Go big!”

And, I did.  I went big in 2018.

In good ways, like getting published in publications I admire and reaching new revenue levels at the farmer’s market.

But, also in ways that were not so good.  Like a huge garden I couldn’t manage.  My waistline.  Cramming so much into my life it became too hard to carry.

To my biggest big moment this fall: Stepping out into the world of 100% self employment.

Because of this recent development, there are-of course- goals on goals for 2019.  So, naturally, I started to think of motivating words that I wanted to consider for the year.

Ideas were things like: Level-up.  Focus.

And, then came the word, “Do.”

I didn’t hate it.  Do is more confident than try.  Do isn’t hesitating.  Do is gutsy.  Do is hard work.  Do get’s it done.

Do is me.

In school, I wasn’t the smartest.  I had to work for every grade.  And, that is still true today.  I am not particularly talented in any one thing.  Nothing comes totally natural to me.

But, what I can do is work.  I can push harder.  Give me a task and I will give it my all.  I will outwork, outlast, out perform.  I will do it.

I am a professional who rolls up her sleeves and gets on the hot line or dish room to get the job done.

My relaxing looks like folding laundry.

I have only once used a sick day… and it was when I had the flu so bad that Adam wouldn’t even come into our bedroom.

Heck… I was in pitocin-induced labor for over two days.  And, wouldn’t get an epidural for over 24 hours.

I have said that if I could be given anything in the world, I would ask for five more hours in the day because there is so much I want to do.  So much I want to achieve and accomplish and experience.

And, because I can’t get there on talent and charm, mind over matter is my mantra.  Sheer grit and resilience are my super powers.  I do, when others wait for better circumstances or until they have thought about all the outcomes.

I told Adam that I was thinking of my word of the year and that “do” was where I was leaning.

He didn’t say anything, instead his face said it all.  He got a dejected look in his eyes that read, “I thought we were getting off this crazy train.”

In that moment, I saw “do” for what it really is.

Do is hustle.  Do is pushing.  Do is more action.  More undertaking.  More.  More.  More.

All the things I have been trying to get away from because, turns out, “do” has gotten me in a lot of trouble.

My “To Do” list has the habit of becoming a “To Do It All” list.

I looked at my goals again.

Big, great goals.  They are all about pushing myself and I am so excited for them.  They will require risk, resilience and bravery, but they are things I am so excited to do. And, not just in the “accomplishment” sense of the word “do;” but, in the work.  I cannot wait to do the work.  I am looking forward to it.

These goals require work that will be challenging, but also work that will be really fun.  That will bring me so much joy every day.

I couldn’t help but think, “Why have I not ever associated “fun” or “joy” with act of working on a goal?”  I have only considered them as emotions to feel when the goal is complete.  But, what about in the act of doing?

To me, goals and New Year’s have always been about the hustle and intensity.  About checking things off that “To Do (It All)” list and moving onto the next task with no smile or celebration until it’s all done.

I thought about the words fun, celebration and joy… and rolled my eyes.

Fun.  It’s a little… juvenile.

And, joy.  Puhlease.  What am I?  A Sunday school teacher?

No.  I am am corporate.  Black coffee.  And, blazers.

“Choose Joy!” I mean… Come on.  How PollyAnna, right?

But, here’s the thing, for me, achievement is not the issue.  I can do that.  Even with my big, bold goals, I know I can.  It’s happened before, and it will again.  And, it will be so great.

So, maybe the goal this year should be for how I want to live rather than what I want to achieve. 

Plus, I know enough to know that there is no happiness found in achieving, no fulfillment in high performance without a little fun and a lot of joy.

So, maybe joy isn’t as cutesy or PollyAnna as I originally thought.

Maybe seeking joy, choosing joy, living with joy- even in challenges- is actually brave.  Gutsy even.  Even more gutsy than doing because you can’t just hide behind motion and the final destination of achievement.

Joy.  It’s a way of living.  A way of being. It’s facing extraordinary moments and ordinary moments and finding the same emotion- Pure Joy.

So, here we go.

2019.  The year of Joy.

For more on The Year of Joy be sure to subscribe to my email list.  (On the right side bar.)  On the 10th of each month, I will be sending out a love letter of where I am finding Joy.  (Know that as a subscriber you will also get a note when ever a new post is published.)

This monthly email may include something as simple as a new Starbucks order that rocked my world or a book I am loving or jeans that make me look like Kendall Jenner.  (… This curvy, 5’4 girl can dream.) It may be a link to a blog post that I found interesting or a recipe that is on repeat at my house.  It could include a kitchen tool that is streamlining dinner time or a little luxury that is making the most mundane day seem a little special.  It may also be something deeper, in line with personal development or business tool, or even something hard we are working on, but in being brave and choosing joy, I will share how we are getting though.  More on all of this on today’s podcast!