Two years ago, Adam and I began to discuss having backyard chickens.
We read a lot, watched a lot of YouTube videos, and learned so much.
A couple of the reasons that we finally decided to give it a go were that their composted droppings are great for gardens and that they are pretty easy to take care of.
We have found both of those reasons to be very true.
However, we also have learned a lot since owning our little flock of hens that we never found in our research.
Based on what I have learned as the owner of backyard chickens, I have decided that backyard chickens need to come with Warning Labels.
If you are thinking of getting chickens or already have baby chicks… prepare yourself.
Warning #1: People will think you have gone insane.
We have had people have no problem telling us everything from “Eww, what about the poop?” To “Why work so hard?” To, plain and simple, “You are making a huge mistake.”
(I mean… What if people said these things about babies??)
And that’s from the people in the country… People who have actually seen a chicken outside of a petting zoo or a kitchen decoration.
Where I grew up, the HOA allowed only two dogs and two cats per household. Max. Chickens were not a topic of discussion.
Just imagine what the people I grew up with must think if they have heard that over fifty chickens have called my backyard home at one time.
In-sane.
Warning #2: You may be the sweetest person on the planet, but you will become incredibly stuck up.
No one really talks about it, but I think it’s very common for owners of backyard chickens to suffer from a phenomenon called “egg snobbery.”
On your business trip you will cringe at the site of the scrambled eggs made from egg beaters at the hotel’s very generic continental breakfast.
You will turn up your nose as you walk down the egg aisle at the grocery store knowing that your eggs at home are far superior.
And, when someone Instagrams a shot of their homemade brunch with two very sad sunny side up eggs with shapeless and dull colored yolks you will smirk and say sarcastically to yourself, “That’s cute…”
Warning #3: You will also become a paranoid freak.
I don’t have children, but, thanks to the chickens, I have gotten a sneak peak of what parenthood is all about.
Spoiler Alert: It’s a 24/7/365 anxiety attack.
Any threat of bad weather, be it extreme cold, snow, high winds, tornadoes, extreme heat, whatever, my mind goes to the hens… and that they are going to die.
Any dog, cat, raccoon, and owl within a two mile radius of the coop is the enemy.
I am sorry. I don’t care how cute your dog is. I probably hate it until I know that it doesn’t think my sweet hens are a chew toy.
PS- Just today I heard on the radio that a six foot boa constrictor escaped from it’s cage and is on the loose somewhere in the local listening area.
You guys... HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS!?!?
Warning #4: Anything pop culture will suddenly become very uninteresting.
That check you write to the cable company each month will seem like a huge waste.
You haven’t been Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s… You have been Keeping Up with the Chickens.
The day you bring them home you will begin to see each chicken’s unique personality.
And as they grow, you would rather spend your time watching them roam the yard than watch that movie getting Oscar Buzz. The movie could be a flop. But, watching the chickens you might catch that hilarious moment when one might slurp up a huge worm like a piece of spaghetti and the others come rushing over in a fit of jealousy. Somebody call the Academy!
Oh. And, you will post things like this on Facebook and it will be 100% true:
Warning #5: Once you get that first chick, you will be a chicken owner the rest of your life.
Admittedly, I have never been a huge fan of animals.
In fact, as a kid, animals made me kind of nervous.
My uncle loves to tell the story of when I was a toddler… my foot was dangling by my moms hip as she held me and his weimaraner licked my foot. I apparently screamed like bloody murder and was convinced that the dog bit me.
(To my credit, a weimaraner to a three year old might as well be a fierce looking horse.)
As an adult, and thanks to a fabulous (thirty pound…) family dog in my childhood, I have warmed up to animals.
I am really excited for the day that we get a dog. And I understand that to make Adam happy this dog will be larger than thirty pounds… and I am okay with that.
Because we have enjoyed our dabbles in homesteading, we have been talking about getting a couple cows and even pigs just to give it a try.
Dogs will likely come and go, depending on our future children wants, and we may find other kinds of livestock exhausting.
But, thanks to the wonderful eggs…
The funny way the ladies interact with one another…
The way it feels like they are able to almost communicate with Adam and me when we are in the garden…
The pure joy in any of our friend’s kids faces when they are chasing the hens…
The joy that I cannot wait to see in my own children… and grandchildren’s faces…
I know that for the rest of my life, I will be the proud owner of a flock of backyard chickens.
You have been warned.
Loriel @ Naturally Loriel says
I absolutely LOVE this post. I especially love the egg snobbery. HAHA So great and so true. Chickens really are the best and I know we will forever have a flock of chickens in our backyard as well! Pinning and sharing on my facebook wall! Thanks for writing such an awesome post for us crazy chicken lovin’ peeps.
Ma Kettle says
Our friends just change the subject if we mention getting chickens. My siblings smirk and say “YOU??!!” like we didn’t all grow up together on a farm.
theblogbloom.com says
Haha! They just don’t understand! Chickens are the best. Thanks for reading, Ma!
TracyG says
My friends reactions were “Wow, I can’t picture you doing this.” “Don’t they smell.” I love my girls, I love worrying over them constantly, appreciate the great eggs they give me. I convinced my husband to let me get 2. I currently have 7 with 6 more on the way. I am totally addicted to these marvelous creatures. Love your post.
theblogbloom.com says
Haha, I hear ya, Tracy! Sounds like a great group of gals. We have spring chicks on the way and I am so excited for babies! Thanks for reading!
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Sarah says
My youngest boys are complete egg snobs as am I. When they see eggs if they don’t have that dark yellow yolk they tell me that it must not be a real egg. HA HA HA.
Ashe says
“Dogs will likely come and go, depending on our future children wants, ” do you mean you will send a dog, cow or pig to the pound or to be put down just because you or your children grow bored of them? Please please please! If you do mean this, do not take on any animal other than chickens, ever. Animals, whatever species they are, deserve a forever home – not to be ousted house-to-house on human whims. It is unfair. They are not cars or toys. They deserve the same love they give us. Yes, even cows and pigs are intelligent and give us love.
Please respond if that isn’t what you mean.
Stephanie says
This is a wonderful piece on raising a flock. I knew I had become an egg snob when I gave up eggs during a molt. But your article has such a warm, funny style that you make the crazy chicken ladies like me feel more normal! I loved reading this.
Vicky says
Hi. Nice post! I’m a new owner of 24 chickens (since Apr 2020), and I have run into a similar experience. I love my hens, and really enjoyed the moments when they transitioned from the baby chicks running around in the indoor brooder swimming pool, to introduction to the outdoor coup, to now free rangers. I have 8 Cinnamon Queens, 8 silver-laced Wyandottes, 4 Brhaman’s and 4 Blue Splash Wheaten Ameraucanas (one of which now appears to be a rooster).
I wanted to warn all the other chicken owners to wear eye protection when in the coup with chickens. I had my eye pecked by a hen last week, and it was a very painful experience, with risk of infection and vision loss. I am a former ER Nurse/now Nurse Practitioner, and wanted to advise anyone that if this happens to you, it is important to irrigate your eye immediately with copious water, then sterile ophthalmic saline. Apply antibiotic eye drops if you happen to have them in the house, and DO NOT GO TO ER because it is an expensive visit, and they will only advise that you follow-up with Ophthalmology. So do yourself a favor and just get in to see an Eye Care professional who can assess the damage, and prescribe the right eye drops.
Shari says
Love your comments!…even tho I am almost 81yoa, & have raised chickens most of my long life, it is fun to keep learning.
It’s amazing how attitudes toward chickens/ animals change over the years! They are a return to simple pleasures, aren’t they? Much more than just necessary farm animals….(I’m actually leary of grocery store chicken…& even eggs)…😅
None of our 7 children or 51 grands & greatgrands has chickens…..😢. They humor Granny, though, & love the eggs!💕
I love this blog!….a blessing to an old lady!🥰